a good investment

This old school camera just cost me about 28 bucks, and 

it is worth every of my pennies. Yes, it is still functioning pretty

well. A decent gift for myself to celebrate the new year.

Happy me, Happy New Year.

Smile. Love. Persevere.

still waiting

Just keep waiting...

Just keep waiting...

I am still waiting for it to come...

Smile. Love. Persevere.

chicago

This trip to Chicago on the November 12nd was worth

all of my pennies. Getting lost and exploring Chicago 

all by myself were an eye-opening experience. The cherry of 

the cake was being able to attend the open house in Chicago. 

Smile. Love. Persevere. 

solipsist

Sometimes I love being alone all by myself.

I indulge too much in my own feelings and desires. 

I wonder whether is it a good thing or a bad thing?

Smile. Love. Persevere.

holidays

I have watched three movies in a row,

and I am going to watch the fourth and maybe the fifth one too.

Yes, this is my holidays,

 just the way I like it. 

Smile. Love. Persevere. 

cottonball the snowbaby

Merry Christmas from cottonball, 

my cute little snowbaby.

Smile. Love. Persevere.

home

A place where I am always delighted to be at

despite of everything.

Smile. Love. Persevere.

loner

Once in a while, I love to watch movie all by myself and 

lucky me, I got to do that once in a big empty cinema room.

Munching on popcorn alone and fearing that something will pop 

out from no where was a new experience to me.

I was glad that I am a loner sometimes.

Smile. Love. Persevere.

expressive

Try to squint your eyes and figure out the 

words at the right hand corner of this art piece 

which I saw in the Chicago Museum of Art.

Thumbs up for this artist. 

Smile. Love. Persevere.

you...

are special in every way...

Smile. Love. Persevere. 

just for fun

=)

Smile. Love. Persevere. 

how i wish

Am I invisible?

Perhaps.

Smile. Love. Persevere. 

I used to...

try to make a decent cake in a cup

but I failed infinitely.

Smile. Love. Persevere.

trust

Trust in failures

Because they are blessings in disguise.

Trust in sadness

Because they do not stay forever in your life.

Trust in depressions

Because they help you to be a stronger person.

Trust in hope

Because it keeps you alive.

Trust in faith

Because it shapes who you are.

Trust in destiny

Because it is your guardian angel.

Trust in yourself

Because no one will if you do not want to.

Smile. Love. Persevere.

bits and pieces of my life

Smile. Love. Persevere.

I believe...

What do you believe in?

I believe in destiny.

I believe in determination.

I believe in perseverance.

I believe in hope.

I believe in patience.

I believe in passion.

I believe in wisdom.

I believe in forgiveness.

I believe in love.

I believe in you.

Just because I wanted to. 

Life is a choice,

and the choice is in your hands.

Do not make your choice because you have to;

make your choice because you want to.

That's the difference between your life and someone else's life;

That's the difference between happiness and bitterness.
That's the difference between fulfillment and disappointment.

Smile. Love. Persevere. 

I used to...

love to draw in my History notes because 

that was the only joy I found in History.

Smile. Love. Persevere.

home-less

HOME is a place where you'll never ever forget.
HOME is a place where you'll keep it safe deep within your heart.
HOME is a place where you'll never replace it with anything else no matter what.

Home is a place where I find comfort and peace. When everything else in the world turns their backs against you, you know that the only place that you can lean on to is your home. Home would never betray you or hurt you. Its arms are always open for you. Its shoulder are always available for you to cry on to. Its smiles are always there for you if you ever need one.

Being a sole traveler from my home country, I need to find a place which has the most resemblance to my definition of home. As I stepped my foot at Mount Carmel, Illinois, it has been my first home ever in the states. Although it is a small town with just a population of 7000 residents, I found comfort in it. I cried, yelled, laughed, and expressed myself as much as I wanted to in my tiny little apartment.

Currently being squeezed inside a four-walled dorm room without any kitchen, living room, and bathroom, it is a struggle for me to try to call it a home or even a house. It is just a place for me to sleep. I felt that my freedom is limited now. It is not a place for me to find complacency. Now everything seems to fall apart in my life, and I don't even have a home to go back to.

I miss home.




Smile. Love. Persevere.

colorful

"Life was just like a box of chocolates" (Forrest Gump).

As in my case, life is just like a box of colorful jellybeans. As I scrolled down through my photo album, I came across this photo which has a reminiscence of how I view my life. I squinted my eyes and tried to remember what flavors of jellybeans I got. And yes, I got something which looked the most appealing to me. I chose 3 jellybeans. The first one was popcorn flavored, and the second one was cotton candy flavored. I think the third one was Piña Coloda or coconut flavored. Well, it didn't matter what flavor I have chosen but it is a matter of how I choose the jellybeans. I chose the one which I desired the most.

The same goes with what I want to do with my life. How should I choose it? Should I choose it according to my desire even though it is not promising. It is not as simple as selecting which jellybeans I want to eat. It is a huge decision which not only will it affects me but also somebody else too. It is a huge decision which not only change my entire career path but also my entire future. It is a huge decision which not only requires a whole load of determination but also brings a whole load of difficulties, and perhaps failures too.

"Life is just like a box of colorful jellybeans. Each jellybean gives you different surprises."



Smile. Love. Persevere.

love thyself

"Do you want to meet the love of your life? 

Look in the mirror" (Bryon Katie).

Therefore, it's okay to splurge thyself on 

a shopping spree once in the blue moon

especially on thy 19th birthday.

Smile. Love. Persevere.

happiest moment of my life

I don't fancy any kind of huge birthday party 

and receiving a enormous load of presents.

I prefer to spend it with the people whom I care the most.

On the night of the 23rd of September,

Linh decided to throw me a 

pre-birthday party since she'll have a test on Tuesday. 

And both of us sang birthday song with her very own unique

homemade birthday cake which consisted of two tortilla wraps with 

peanut butter, nuts, and popcorn sandwiched between them.

And yes we watched Horrible Bosses while enjoying

my "birthday cake" and some delicious snacks from Mr. Brown and Elaine. 

Another blissful night which is once again unforgettable.

Smile. Love. Persevere.

I used to...

enjoy this view outside of the balcony 

at my apartment with a cup of nice warm tea...

Smile. Love. Persevere.

pure bliss

At this time, just a cup of instant noodle would

make me feeling on cloud nine for the rest of the day. 

Having the hot steam covering my glasses, and my tongue

nearly got burned were just pure bliss. 

Smile. Love. Persevere.

lucky me

September 16th 2011 is my luckiest day ever.

Here's why.

1. I bought new earphones which are orange in color. I thought I would never ever find them. *jumping in the air with joy*

2. My Physics lecturer offered me advice and help on deciding my major which I thought I would never get them from my lecturer. I was so touched that she cares about my problems since I am just one of her thousands of students.

3. It was such a miracle that I had exactly 5 bucks in my wallet to buy a ticket to the football game on Saturday because I never have cash with me.

4. I had exactly 80 cents in my wallet to pay for my bus fee, and yes it was another miracle because I never have cash with me.

5. I seldom shop in Sephora because everything in there is pricey. Finally, I had the gut to buy a bottle of perfume, and the good news is, I got a free bottle of shower gel because it is my birthday month. =)

6. I was fortunate enough to catch the bus right on time to go back to my dorm when I thought I would miss the bus. 

7. I saw fireworks display from my room which is situated on the 10th floor, and yes it was awesome! Who cares what day it was. 

I had a bliss enjoying the

fireworks display just in my room.

Well, life in UK is getting much better than I expected.

Smile. Love. Persevere. 

my life. my choice.

"Getting lost will help you find yourself".

This is by far my favorite one.

p/s: Thank you mak mak for having this picture on her blog.

Smile. Love. Persevere.

happiness

What is happiness? 

I couldn't stop thinking about this question.

Once again,

what exactly is happiness?

Smile. Love. Persevere.

a teeny-bitty about UK

There are parties in campus almost every weekends.

Whenever you say these two alphabets, "UK" to the people in the states, the first thought they would have would be University of Kentucky instead of United Kingdom. Next, they will ask you this question, "have you been to the basketball game?"

"Go big blue!"

Yes I'm currently studying at a university in Lexington, Kentucky where people have these two alphabets, "UK" basically on everything from bags to shirts, cups, caps, car plates, and the list goes on. Blue is the main color here and red is the color of their rival, University of Louisville. It is advisable for you to not wear red to a game. Do it at your own risk.

Lexington is the second largest city in Kentucky after Louisville. However, in my opinion, Lexington is small so I would call it a town. Lexington reminds me of Malaysia because there are trees everywhere. I can't wait for the arrival of autumn. I bet I can play around with all those fallen leaves once again.

I admit that I have homesick (again!) when I first arrived in Lexington. I miss Ipoh and Mt. Carmel as well. I admit that I complained and whined about Lexington, my room, my lecturers, my classes, and the bus system. After two weeks in here, I accept the fact that I have to move on with my life. It's part of growing up. "We need to get out of our comfort zone" (weichien). Yes, I am pushing myself to do so and yes university life is stressful to me.

I apologize for the lack of decent photos about Lexington and my university. Here's a good one.

Delicious Indian food which reminded me of home. 

Smile. Love. Persevere.

decidophobia

The fear of making decision. 

As in my case it should be the fear of making the wrong decision.

Should I change my major?

Should I change my university?

Should I follow my well-planned career path?

Should I stop doubting?

Should I or shouldn't I?

 This is not a matter of flipping the coin to make a decision.

The thought of changing my plans is driving me insane.

Should I or shouldn't I?

Smile. Love. Persevere.

I used to...

make S'mores with Linh and chatted our way

through all those winter nights.

Smile. Love. Persevere.

freedom

When you're 21 years old, you'll get a key from your parents. That key signifies the freedom you'll get, it also represents that you're an adult now. As in my case, studying abroad means that I'll get my total freedom even though only at the age of 18 years and 11 months. I just realized that it doesn't matter how old are you, as long as you're in a foreign country all by yourself, you're pushed to think and act like an adult. 

I enjoy my freedom but I hate to deal and solve all my problems by myself. I just can't help but worrying that I could not get my bachelor degree in two years times. I worry how will my credits transfer. I worry how could I get my master's degree in my dream university. I hate worrying but that's exactly how I am. How i wish someone could vanish all my doubts right now. 

In a nutshell, freedom equals to adulthood and worries never will escape from your mind. 

Smile. Love. Persevere. 

 

time flies

I wish hard, and I mean it,

someone would hit me real hard right on my head just to put me back into reality that I'm leaving in less than 24 hours.

Time flies...

I'm the kind of person who doesn't like to show my true feelings, but I can tell you that right now, right at this moment, I want to cry out so bad. My brother is playing the guitar for me, and my mom is trying so hard to stay awake just to spend the last night with me.

On the bright side, I am going to start a new life in a new place. 

I am going to meet new people and do new things. 

Yes, it is time. 

Change can feel like pure adrenaline. 

Fortunately, I have two of my buddies following me to the states.

Smile. Love. Persevere.

cheers

I saw flowers bloomed and wilt.

I saw people came and left in my life.

I saw some who would stay in my heart forever too.

 To all the people out there who I love,

thanks for everything. 

Smile. Love. Persevere.

decisions..

Life is all about making decisions.

Shall I eat pizza or spaghetti for dinner? Should I buy this bag? Should I go to the carnival? 

These are just simply decisions we make in life. There are a lot more bigger decisions to make in life. I would never ever regret about some decisions I made. However, there was this one big decision which made me feel bitter and gloomy everyday. I would wake up in the middle of the night with tears dripping from my eyes. I would stare at this photo and  wonder why would I do that? 

Once again, may I cry?

Smile. Love. Persevere.

it's almost time

2 more weeks I'm leaving.

17 days 17 hours 40 minutes 31 seconds to be exact, 

I have to step into the plane again. 

I hate goodbyes. Period.

Smile. Love. Persevere.

I used to...

...take a break by sitting on the staircase 

before I walked back home while daydreaming

to own this house.

Smile. Love. Persevere.

'click'

I have been staring on the keyboard for the past 30 minutes.
The enter bar is the only one I have laid my finger on.

'click'
'click'
'click'
'click'
'click'
'click'
'click'
'click'
'click'
'click'


May I cry?

I used to...

...sit here during my leisure time in winter just 

to freeze myself for a while.

Smile. Love. Persevere.

I used to...

...shake off all the snow from the bushes near 

my house in 3rd street thinking it was the least
I could do to keep them warm.

Smile. Love. Persevere.

delicacies...

Simple food. Simple indulgence. Simply blissful.

deli #1- popiah

deli #2- beef noodle

deli #3- ice kacang

deli#4- Ramli burger

deli#5- roti canai

Smile. Love. Persevere.